I had this strange dream last night that really made me think. Not many people know that I am a very spiritual person. I only really show that side of me to my aunt Sue D. I guess I believe there is a purpose for everything and we are being lead where ever we go. With that being said, my dream goes as follows:
I was working with orphan children and trying to find good homes for them. Then a higher up boss put a hold on funding or something along the lines. I went to go meet with him to discuss the matter and it was Ronnie in his uniform. I went in there determined and angry with this guy, but it turned out that he became attractive to me. It was as if we both were just drawn to each other and there was this prediction in both of us like we knew one another, I mean really knew one another, from pass lives. There were more details to the dream that seem foggy at this point, but you get the idea.
I woke up and it made me think, 'Would Ronnie and I still have found each other, if we didn't realize one another in high school?' I mean we went through Junior high not noticing each other? I am not questioning if I should have married my husband at all, without a doubt we are meant to be. I just ponder the idea if our paths would have crossed regardless? How would it happen? How different would my life have been? Would I be a different person now? I know this is very cosmic and philosophical, but it was interesting to me how people do come in and even out of your life for a reason. It seems that everybody you meet shapes who we are and what we believe to some level. We get to use our own personalities and judgements to just filter out what works for us and what doesn't.
This is a little heavy for a Thursday morning, but everyone knows that I am not really much for small talk.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
My Special Day Every Year
I like to celebrate my birthday for a prolonged period of time each year. The official first celebration was Friday night when my girlfriends took me out for sushi. I love the three out of us seven who didn't either like or have even ever tried sushi before. I think that they were surprise that it wasn't so bad. I had a great time spending girly adult time. Afterwards, I went out dancing with some old co-workers. Don't get the wrong impression of me, I am NOT a big partier. Lately, I have wanted to get out and dance. It just feels good to be out and feel free to be out. Is that bad? Especially, since I have had my boys back to back and Wyatt is pass that one year mark where things get easier-somewhat :)
Then last night, I wouldn't call it a birthday celebration, but just me, Hayden and Wyatt went to Como Lake. We made a lap around and we could hear music coming from the pavilion. Us three sat and listened to three songs (remember, my boys are 1 and 2 1/2). They both love it! Wyatt was dancing, both were waving, "Hi" to everyone and clapping when the songs were done-even when they thought the songs were done. They were so happy. It feels so great to have moments like that. I am certain to never forget how I felt to see my boys just be.... So that was a great unexpected present.
Today, I only had one daycare child, so we all took our first field trip as a daycare (with the help of my dad) to Como Park Zoo. It was BUSY!! I am thinking, "don't you people work?" I thought it was going to be dead and we could just relax and stroll. It was fun, but more busy then I assumed. I went on rides with Hayden. First, we went on the train (of course-he LOVES trains!!!) He is so good. He wanted to ride in the caboose. Then we went on the swings. His face was priceless! He could NOT stop smiling and he was describing everything to me (non-understandable of course). It was so cute it made me laugh. Grandpa took Hayden on a couple more rides and we called it an afternoon. If you live in the area or if you make a trip here, you have to come and visit the LAST free zoo in the nation, maybe the world.
Tonight, I went out for dinner with my brother, his girlfriend-Tina, Madyson (their first outing), my boys, my mom, and Aunts Kathy and Cindy. I had a great time. I got my favorite salad and drink. (I am excited though, for seafood tomorrow with my other aunt Sue D!)
I am so lucky to have so many special people in my life. It makes special celebrations or just any ol' day brighter. I love surrounding myself with friends and family, it is who I am and I know who I am when I am around them. Smile:)
Then last night, I wouldn't call it a birthday celebration, but just me, Hayden and Wyatt went to Como Lake. We made a lap around and we could hear music coming from the pavilion. Us three sat and listened to three songs (remember, my boys are 1 and 2 1/2). They both love it! Wyatt was dancing, both were waving, "Hi" to everyone and clapping when the songs were done-even when they thought the songs were done. They were so happy. It feels so great to have moments like that. I am certain to never forget how I felt to see my boys just be.... So that was a great unexpected present.
Today, I only had one daycare child, so we all took our first field trip as a daycare (with the help of my dad) to Como Park Zoo. It was BUSY!! I am thinking, "don't you people work?" I thought it was going to be dead and we could just relax and stroll. It was fun, but more busy then I assumed. I went on rides with Hayden. First, we went on the train (of course-he LOVES trains!!!) He is so good. He wanted to ride in the caboose. Then we went on the swings. His face was priceless! He could NOT stop smiling and he was describing everything to me (non-understandable of course). It was so cute it made me laugh. Grandpa took Hayden on a couple more rides and we called it an afternoon. If you live in the area or if you make a trip here, you have to come and visit the LAST free zoo in the nation, maybe the world.
Tonight, I went out for dinner with my brother, his girlfriend-Tina, Madyson (their first outing), my boys, my mom, and Aunts Kathy and Cindy. I had a great time. I got my favorite salad and drink. (I am excited though, for seafood tomorrow with my other aunt Sue D!)
I am so lucky to have so many special people in my life. It makes special celebrations or just any ol' day brighter. I love surrounding myself with friends and family, it is who I am and I know who I am when I am around them. Smile:)
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Madyson Lee Masson
Madyson Lee Masson was born today! I am an auntie! Mady was born at 9:47 am at Abbott Northwestern in Minneapolis and she was 9 pounds and 0.6 ounces with a height of 21 inches. The C-section went very smooth! When Mady was out and Tina was getting stitched up, Bart brought Madyson in the waiting room to meet us. I felt like he would be out soon, so I grabbed my camera out of my purse and immediately I spotted my brother walking down the hall. I was hit with emotion to see my brother in tears as he held his daughter in his arms. First thing, I noticed about her is that she had cute little cheeks already! She has dark hair. I can't wait to see her in a couple days when she will change again. I love my brother, because he is such a marshmallow. He was born to be a father and even more so to have a "daddy's girl." Tina is doing well, she feels great and when we left this afternoon, she was patiently waiting to eat. My mom informed me that this afternoon they noticed that Madyson wasn't breathing and was turning red. The nurse was called in to remove more fluid out of her lungs. Since Madyson was a C-section baby, they tend to have water in their lungs. Usually, that water is squeezed out when a baby comes out of their mother during a vaginal birth. A little background knowledge :) I didn't have that problem with my two boys who had I had c-sections with, but I am so thankful that she is ok. That is every parent's nightmare, especially when you are a new parent! Yikes! Anyway. I am so happy for my brother and Tina. Congratulations on your new family! Love you!
PS yeah still not able to get pictures up on this site, any recommendations?!
PS yeah still not able to get pictures up on this site, any recommendations?!
Monday, June 2, 2008
A little marriage article....
I found this article and found it interesting. We may or maynot have perfect marriages, but we always could use the extra help. Here you go:
60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriage. In other words, the person who stays monogamous within her marriage is among a growing minority.
Twelve years into my marriage, I can appreciate that statistic. Eric and I are getting to the hard part, where the pressing responsibilities of raising kids and growing two careers could easily blow apart the vows we recited on our wedding day.
Because I want my marriage to stay on the happy side of the statistics, I've gathered these tips for how to make marriage absolutely affair-proof.
1. Nurture Safe Friendships: This is the most important affair-preventer in my life.
No marriage can give you everything. A husband is going to have interests that his wife will never care about like fishing, hunting, or golfing. So he's less likely to stray if he can find some good guy buddies with whom to fish, hunt, and golf.
2. Recognize the Drug: Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to "just say no."
3. Keep Dating: I'm serious here. Visiting with your spouse with some regularity--just the two of you and no one else--will bring some very definite rewards to a marriage. By dating, you will learn how to talk to each other again.
In her book, "Mating in Captivity," Esther Perel urges a client to imagine her spouse as if she has just met him, to put him into that mysterious category again. This is really hard when you got a little one screaming, "Wipe me!" from the bathroom. However, when you can pull it off, I find her theory very effective.
4. Find a Creative Outlet: People get lured into emotional and physical affairs because the infatuation provides an exciting, stimulating place where they are energized.
So to stay affair-proof, you have to find other sources of stimulation and excitement. For me, my blog is that outlet. I can't wait to log on each day to see what all of my dear readers have to say. When I get overwhelmed by the domestic chaos of our lives, Beyond Blue provides me that outlet where I can create something new, where I can run away, however temporarily, from the stress.
5. Hang Out with Happy Couples: If you're hanging with a bunch of guys (or girls) that see nothing wrong with sleeping around, you are much more likely to do it yourself. The good news is that the opposite is also true. If you have a set of friends committed to their marriages, you will be less likely to cheat on your spouse.
6. Learn How to Fight: Wait before saying something really ugly, and make sure you weren't tired or hungry, or in a stressful situation. I'm not saying that you can't confront your spouse if you're tired, hungry, or stressed, because then we'd live in a silent world. But, it's a good idea to recognize situations that tend to accelerate arguments.
7. Be Nice and Listen: "Duh," you're saying to yourself. But think about it. This is the hardest part about marriage. Listening. Keeping your mouth closed when the other person is talking.
In my conversations with men and women who have had affairs, the number one reason for pursuing the affair was this: "She listened to me. I mattered to him."
8. Remember These Tools: Never forget that you have a toolbox of resources to draw on when you feel tempted by an extramarital affair. Here are some tools offered to me by those healing from affairs, insights to keep in mind when you feel that familiar head rush and are tempted to abandon logic for a thrill:
Don't go there: Don't put yourself in a threatening situation. Skip the conference in Hawaii with the colleague who flirts with you. If you absolutely have to go, avoid all opportunities to be alone with him.
You've got mail: When you don't know if your email crosses the line into appropriate language, send it to yourself first. Read it again, and ask yourself: would I feel comfortable showing this to my husband?
Dress with intentions: One woman told me that she saved her lingerie for her husband, and wore the ratty old underwear to the high-school reunion where she'd see a flame from the past.
Talk about your spouse: A guy friend told me that whenever he is alone with a woman he finds attractive and things are getting uncomfortable, he'll start talking about his wife--what her hobbies are, and how much he loves her. It immediately kills the mood.
I know most of these things seem like common sense, but sometimes you need to have things pointed out. Hey every little bit helps when having a great marriage!
60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriage. In other words, the person who stays monogamous within her marriage is among a growing minority.
Twelve years into my marriage, I can appreciate that statistic. Eric and I are getting to the hard part, where the pressing responsibilities of raising kids and growing two careers could easily blow apart the vows we recited on our wedding day.
Because I want my marriage to stay on the happy side of the statistics, I've gathered these tips for how to make marriage absolutely affair-proof.
1. Nurture Safe Friendships: This is the most important affair-preventer in my life.
No marriage can give you everything. A husband is going to have interests that his wife will never care about like fishing, hunting, or golfing. So he's less likely to stray if he can find some good guy buddies with whom to fish, hunt, and golf.
2. Recognize the Drug: Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to "just say no."
3. Keep Dating: I'm serious here. Visiting with your spouse with some regularity--just the two of you and no one else--will bring some very definite rewards to a marriage. By dating, you will learn how to talk to each other again.
In her book, "Mating in Captivity," Esther Perel urges a client to imagine her spouse as if she has just met him, to put him into that mysterious category again. This is really hard when you got a little one screaming, "Wipe me!" from the bathroom. However, when you can pull it off, I find her theory very effective.
4. Find a Creative Outlet: People get lured into emotional and physical affairs because the infatuation provides an exciting, stimulating place where they are energized.
So to stay affair-proof, you have to find other sources of stimulation and excitement. For me, my blog is that outlet. I can't wait to log on each day to see what all of my dear readers have to say. When I get overwhelmed by the domestic chaos of our lives, Beyond Blue provides me that outlet where I can create something new, where I can run away, however temporarily, from the stress.
5. Hang Out with Happy Couples: If you're hanging with a bunch of guys (or girls) that see nothing wrong with sleeping around, you are much more likely to do it yourself. The good news is that the opposite is also true. If you have a set of friends committed to their marriages, you will be less likely to cheat on your spouse.
6. Learn How to Fight: Wait before saying something really ugly, and make sure you weren't tired or hungry, or in a stressful situation. I'm not saying that you can't confront your spouse if you're tired, hungry, or stressed, because then we'd live in a silent world. But, it's a good idea to recognize situations that tend to accelerate arguments.
7. Be Nice and Listen: "Duh," you're saying to yourself. But think about it. This is the hardest part about marriage. Listening. Keeping your mouth closed when the other person is talking.
In my conversations with men and women who have had affairs, the number one reason for pursuing the affair was this: "She listened to me. I mattered to him."
8. Remember These Tools: Never forget that you have a toolbox of resources to draw on when you feel tempted by an extramarital affair. Here are some tools offered to me by those healing from affairs, insights to keep in mind when you feel that familiar head rush and are tempted to abandon logic for a thrill:
Don't go there: Don't put yourself in a threatening situation. Skip the conference in Hawaii with the colleague who flirts with you. If you absolutely have to go, avoid all opportunities to be alone with him.
You've got mail: When you don't know if your email crosses the line into appropriate language, send it to yourself first. Read it again, and ask yourself: would I feel comfortable showing this to my husband?
Dress with intentions: One woman told me that she saved her lingerie for her husband, and wore the ratty old underwear to the high-school reunion where she'd see a flame from the past.
Talk about your spouse: A guy friend told me that whenever he is alone with a woman he finds attractive and things are getting uncomfortable, he'll start talking about his wife--what her hobbies are, and how much he loves her. It immediately kills the mood.
I know most of these things seem like common sense, but sometimes you need to have things pointed out. Hey every little bit helps when having a great marriage!
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