What Two Weeks Will Bring...

It has been a long time since I have posted, sorry I just have been very busy. The Tuesday night before Thanksgiving, I caught the flu bug that has been going around. It was horrible. 5pm I was feeling great and by 5:45pm I couldn't keep my eyes open. I thank God that my children were so good and still alive, because I was out of it. Ronnie worked until 8:30pm so I was by myself for almost 3 hours in and out of reality. I hate being sick, but I am thankful that it was short lived.



Wednesday night, Ronnie and I took the boys to get their haircut. Wyatt had his first haircut. It was about that time, he had what we like to call "The Billy Idol Tod (toddler) Mullet." Hayden went first. Hayden needed a haircut, too because I did a hack job myself the last go around. Hayden always enjoys a sucker and a movie. There was a little girl screaming the whole time that Hayden was up there. She was probably a little older than Wyatt. Wyatt was great! He cried a little when he realized I wasn't sitting with him, but he was content and curious when I held his hand. He was so good and both boys look so handsome!



Our Thanksgiving was fun, but Ronnie wasn't feeling good. Ronnie has a condition of ulcerative colitis and he was having symptoms that he normally doesn't have. He was in pain and could barely eat. I felt bad for him, but I also so wanted a break from when I was sick. Anyway....We went to my Aunts Kathy and Cindy's home in West Lakeland. It was delicious and fun to be with family. It is a small group of us that go, so it is relaxing. Hayden adores my aunt Kathy. She has an air hockey table that both boys love to play. Hayden wanted to take a picture with Kathy and she leaned in, but Hayden said, "no, like this" and he pulled her head to his. It was so cute. We just had a fun and relaxing Thanksgiving.



Thanksgiving also mean prepping for blackout Friday! I am not a 4am goer, but I am a 7am, get up and go shopper. If you haven't or won't go the day after Thanksgiving, you should! The deals are amazing and the rush is thrilling. It is a great bonding experience with my mom, too. My cousin Jill went with us this year and that was fun! Though by 2pm, I am ready for a nap.



This is my favorite time of the year. It is very busy, but it is fun filled with plenty to do. I will post pictures and more later. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving :) Enjoy the best time of the year!

For your information :)

I posted a new blog, but it is dated before my Halloween blog, so go ahead and scroll down. I would love to hear about anyone else who have children close in age and your experience.

I really hope everyone is having a nice week.

Halloween Pictures 2008

Carving Pumpkins
Halloween Night after Trick or Treating

Wyatt Checking out the pumpkins

Wyatt and Hayden with their little cousin Maddy

Daycare Party 10/30/08

Hayden as a witch

Wyatt loving his costume-the torture ha-ha

Wyatt and Hayden carving pumpkins

The Family 10/31/08

The funny thing is that Hayden was actually a "fire truck man" but I haven't taken pictures of him in his costume (what a bad mom I am). But I did manage to take pictures in all our other costumes ha-ha. I may add pictures later. Enjoy!

17 months

Is isn't a monumental age for most but for us it is special. Wyatt turns 17 months November 8. It is amazing to see him full on just getting on top and into everything. All of his words are incredible, but he is so little still and getting so big at the same time.

Hayden was 17 months when Wyatt was born. He was at the same point Wyatt is now. I just can't believe we have done it with two boys so close together in age. We had a Wyatt and a newborn at this age?! It puzzles me. It has been challenging, I am not going to lie. But we are doing it and honestly, we don't know anything different.

Ronnie and I were only -really- starting out as parents when Wyatt was born and we were adding another baby into the equation. We were very nervous, but excited. All three of our lives changed when Wyatt was born. Looking back, it was good for Hayden because it made him more independent and not as clingy as most kids are at this age AKA Wyatt.

It is VERY special when the first is born, because your life makes the ultimate change. Your propective on life and the world. Even what is more important to you. Something has to be said the feeling you have with the second child coming into your lives. I never thought I could have this much love for another human being and I am even more excited that this feeling will only continue with each child we have. Ronnie and I came together to create our world, our lives, our family. Our dreams are coming true...

Obama is Our President Elect....

First of all, I don't love talking politics, but something has to be said with this historic election. Barack Obama won with 349 electoral votes and 62,974,970 popular votes leaving John McCain with 161 electoral votes and 55,772,391. I was not on Obama's side what so ever during the election, but he is this country's next president. It is a hard job and he deserves respect.
I would expected the same from Obama supporters if McCain would have won. Mr. Obama has a lot of proving to do. This country depends on it.

Yesterday, I went to vote. I brought Hayden with me. He was so good and he asked questions. He talked about voting with mommy for the rest of the night. It was a special moment.

Whoo-hoo the political ads are done! We can go and watch regular TV again ha-ha

Halloween

We had such a great Halloween! Hayden made a great recovery from being sick that very early morning, but we still kept a low-key day just hanging around the house.

Evening came and my parents, aunts, and my brother's family came over to celebrate the evening of ghouls. I fed the boys some sandwiches, but they both were much too excited. We got costumes on...Wyatt was an elephant and Hayden was a "fire truck man." Ronnie, me and my aunts Kathy and Cindy took the boys over next door to Ronnie's parents' house. They always have had decorations up as long I have known them and Hayden and Wyatt loved it. They were walking by the censored head stone that talked or the woman statue that cackled when you pushed her button. I love seeing my boys light up with excitement.

Then we went house to house trick or treating. They both were prepped by greeting with "trick or treat" and then saying "thank you" when you get candy. Every house we went to Hayden would tell me that he got more candy. He was amazed and having a great time. Wyatt liked following Hayden to the houses, but his legs are so little Hayden would be leaving the house by the time Wyatt made it there. Half way between houses, Wyatt would say "thank you." Late, but very cute.

I love my neighborhood. I love that there are so many kids that go around and that the houses are decorated so well. Hayden and Wyatt would get really excited to see such decorations. We probably made it about 3 or 4 blocks when Hayden said he had enough candy. So funny. We hiked the couple blocks back home to see my parents and Bart, Tina and Maddy. Maddy, my niece was a ladybug. So very cute and happy. It was her first Halloween!

The boys were allowed 2 or 3 pieces of candy, but having a sucker slowed then down to only 1-2 pieces. We made some apple pie and pumpkin cookies for everyone. It was a really fun Halloween...

My only complaint is the manners on kids trick or treating! I would get kids at my door that would just stand there when they came to the door instead of "trick or treat." I am talking about school aged children that know. I had one kid, as I was putting candy in his bag, "can I get a Reese's?" with much attitude. I replied with a "no." I am a little biased, b/c it was the same group of kids that knocked Hayden down at another house. What is even worse, the parents were there and didn't do anything. Parents...disipline your children! Don't let things like that just fly! There, I am done with that.

The Taste of Lysol

Friday 10/31/08
Last Night at about 2:30am Hayden begins to cry. I have that feeling like something is wrong, because he has been sleeping well for about a week now. He is sitting up in his bed and points to his pillow. I feel it and it is wet. I ask him if that is water or throw-up and he replies, "throw-up." I strip his pillow and give him a couple towels in case it happens again. He seemed so tired and I was hoping it was a fluke.
Nope. 20 minutes later, he throws up again. I strip his bed and make a bed on the floor for him and I. Hayden wakes two more times in the night. The floor is so uncomfortable, so I get barely enough sleep the rest of the night.
Hayden Wakes up refreshed and back to himself. Literally! He is jibber jabbering up a storm and wants to eat right away. The sucky part is that is he has a bug, it can be passed, so going to AJ's today is out of the question....Grrrr! On my ONLY day off by default - No DC kids today...
Now I am just hoping that Wyatt doesn't get sick.....so I am Lysoling the crap out of Hayden's room and anything we may have touched in the night. When you disinfect with Lysol that much, it gets in your mouth. BLAH...nasty and I can't shake the taste and everything I eat/drink tastes like garnished Lysol..MMMMmmmm.....

Sunday 11/2/08
Knock on wood, Wyatt hasn't gotten sick, so Hayden may have eaten something not good or had a delayed reaction to the flu shot on Tuesday. I sure hate when they are sick, but when Hayden was sick, I felt close to him, b/c he needed me. He can be so independent and such a daddy's boy, it makes me sad sometimes. It felt good that he needed his mommy. It is partially my fault b/c Wyatt demands so much of me (MEGA momma's boy), it is hard to have special time with Hayden sometimes. I keep telling myself that it will get easier with Wyatt, where he won't be attached at the hip and I can have the kind of relationships I want to have with my boys.

Geez...where did that come from ha~ha

I'll tell you about Halloween in my next blog :)

Birth Questionaire

Hayden
1.Were you married at the time? Yes
2.What were your reactions when you found out you were pregnant? Happy and anxious to tell Ronnie
3.How old were you? 23
4.How did you find out you were pregnant? I had a feeling the night before. Then the next day, I took a pregnancy test and then I verified it at the doctor's office
5.Who did you tell first? Ronnie
6.Did you want to find out the sex? Definitely
7.Due date ? January 8th, 2006
8.Did you deliver early or late? Two days before the due date - January 6th, 2006
9.Did you have morning sickness ? I didn't get sick-sick, I just had MAJOR food aversions
10.What did you crave? Milk and ice cream
11.Who irritated you the most? I worked at Marshall Fields at the time and mostly co-workers and customers irritated more than usual.
12.What was your child's sex?Male
13.How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy?45 pounds
14.Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? Well, I had slight gestational diabetes, mega feet swelling' and Hayden was found out 3 days before the due date that he was breached(feet first)
15.Where did you give birth?Saint John's Hospital in Maplewood, MN
16.How many hours were you in labor? c-section
17.Who drove you to the hospital? Ronnie
18.Who watched? Ronnie, only one person could be in the room and there were a handful of people in the waiting room
19.Was it natural or c-section? C-section that turned into an emergency C-section
20.Did you take medicine to ease the pain? Yes, but it was painful before with the aversion and afterwards, because of complications during surgery, they couldn't give me more pain medication until I was stabilized.
21.How much did your child weigh? 8lbs 1oz
22.What did you name him? Hayden Hoyt Ambriz
23.How old is your newborn today? 2 years, 9 months and 3 weeks

Wyatt
1.Were you married at the time? Yes
2.What were your reactions when you found out you were pregnant? I was shocked, scared and worried. I had a 10 month old when I found out.
3.How old were you? 24
4.How did you find out you were pregnant? I was VERY picky of what I ate, so I took a pregnancy test to rule it out-turned out I WAS pregnant.
5.Who did you tell first? Ronnie, he was very excited and very comforting
6.Did you want to find out the sex? yes
7.Due date ? June 19, 2007
8.Did you deliver early or late? Early - June 8th, 2007
9.Did you have morning sickness ? Food aversions again, but controlled with living off of milk for 3 months+
10.What did you crave? again milk and ice cream
11.Who irritated you the most? Ronnie!
12.What was your child's sex? Male - I was in AWWW of the idea of them being best friends forever :)
13.How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy? I still was overweight from Hayden, so I lost weight the first 2/3 of the pregnancy and gained a total of maybe 10-15 lbs
14.Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? Nope, except back pain
15.Where did you give birth? United in Saint Paul, MN
16.How many hours were you in labor? nada
17.Who drove you to the hospital? Ronnie
18.Who watched?Ronnie and several friends and family in the waiting room
19.Was it natural or c-section? C-section
20.Did you take medicine to ease the pain? Yes, much better experience than the first time around :)
21.How much did your child weigh? 8lbs 2oz
22.What did you name him? Wyatt James Ambriz
23.How old is your newborn today? 1 year 4 months 2 weeks and 5 days

Autumn is in the Air

The last two weekends have been fun filled and a great celebration of my favorite time of year, Autumn. I had a great introduction to autumn with my girls weekend. Seeing the beautiful leaves and having such wonderful weather was the key.

Last weekend, we had our annual "Autumn Day" with my aunts Kathy and Cindy. I can't even describe how much fun we have with my aunts at any gathering. First we went to a nursery off of I36 in the Stillwater area. We went on a hayride, which is so much fun to go on with the kids. Wyatt was pointing at everything with his little words. He repeats EVERYTHING I tell him. It is cute, very cute. There was a variety of animals that you could pet and feed, which the kids loved. Hayden did most of the feeding until he got a little bite from one of the animals. Wyatt was feeding the animals and at one point, the baby cow had Wyatt's whole hand in his mouth. Wyatt loved it. Hayden LOVEd jumping on those air things- what are they called? Hayden really can get high in the air with giggles to follow in those giant cushions of air. Then we headed to Abbot's Apple Farm where they have all the apple cider and apple brats you can imagine. They have a great set up there and what is even more great is that they have the Saint Croix Winery there-Yummy! After getting filled up on apples and apple cider we headed to Gustoffs- a yummy German restaurant in Stillwater (there is one in Mpls, too). We went back to my aunts' house for naps and then decided to get a crazy bone in us and spend the night. We had and excellent dinner and dessert (mmmm...apple crisp). We put the kids to bed and took a dip in the hot tub. It is so relaxing to be in the country on a fall night in a hot tub and looking up at the stars. Just what I needed. Then we enjoyed seeing Sarah Palin on SNL. So funny. Give her a break, she is a good person and she has a sense of humor.

I made it to 10:30pm and I had to go to bed. As I am sneaking in the room, I incidentally mange to wake Wyatt a little. I made NO further indication that I am in there and he falls asleep in minutes. Between all four of us making noises and Hayden's bright nightlight, I didn't get much sleep. Sleep-overs always seem like a good idea at the time, but never give you the rest you need. It has to happen once in a while, I guess.

This last Saturday, Ronnie was working, so my parents and I rounded up the boys and went to The Pine Tree Apple Orchard in White Bear. I was told that we went there many times growing up, but I don't remember. We went on a wagon ride(a hayride without hay) and went to their pumpkin patch and picked out pumpkins. The boys both really loved picking out pumpkins. Wyatt liked to roll on top of them and Hayden liked trying to lift them saying, "heavy." It was a good time and I like to get my boys out while the weather hold up, because I am a baby once winter hits. I have had an amazing Autumn so far and my favorite (one of) holiday is coming...Halloween. Which, by the way, I will get pictures up of my cute children in their costumes. Geez.... Thanks giving is next and before you know it we will be over looking Christmas. Boy, this year is going fast.....

Hayden and My Girls Weekend

Here are some cute pictures of my kids while I talk.....


It is funny...I thought that once a child gets old enough that they don't wake up for random reasons.....boy, was I wrong. My boys are great sleepers, but lately Hayden has been waking up in the night. He is sooooo scared of the dark. Even yesterday at naptime, he got out of bed to go across the hall to the bathroom and turn the light on and then open his and the bathroom door. I feel so bad, because I know that he has to get through this on his own time. I can give him hugs and kisses, give him items to snuggle when he gets scared or even tell him stories to ease his fear, but it is something he has to overcome on his own terms.

A few nights ago, I woke up to a figure standing in the dark crying ever so slightly at my bed. It scares the crap out of me, I have to admitt. I look at the clock and it is 2:39 am...ugh. So, I carried him back to his bed and talked to him for a little bit to mellow him and get him to be ok to sleep in his bed. I would LOVE to have him sleep with me, but I've tried. I get NO sleep, because my boys kick up a storm and it is never good the next day with crabby mommy. My loving husband comes in - when he knows not to, unless he is asked- and made matters worse. I was just getting Hayden ready to sleep by himself and dad adds another factor- himself. So, Hayden cried for daddy for the next half hour. Of course, Ronnie wanted to go in there within the first two "daddy" s. Finally, after a couple more times of going in there, he went to sleep. I am willing to do it once in awhile, but it is so frustrating, because even if Hayden wakes up for 30-45 minutes it takes me another 30-45 minutes after he is quiet for me to get back to sleep. Monday's wake up wore and teared on me, since I was "recovering" from a girls weekend!





My friends, Bekah, Kayla, Tina and I went to my cousin's cabin for the weekend in Exeland, WI. I didn't drink myself into a frenzy, but we stayed up late. Friday night, we settled in and drank wine and ate appetizers, since we didn't get there until 9:30 pm or so. Then Saturday we woke up and ate some yummy cinnamon rolls and headed to go horse back riding. It was beautiful driving. Beautiful. Bekah, Kayla, Tina and I went. It was fun and we had perfect everything. But I really needed a little me time. The only thing that would have made it even more perfect, was if everyone could have been there....AJ, Sarah, Paige, Maria...we missed ya! Here are some pictures of the beautiful fall trees. It was seriously breathless...

Hayden and Wyatt...Up Close and Personal

Wyatt (15 Months) & Hayden (2y 9m)
A Day at Saint Anthony Main in Minneapolis
September 21, 2008

Hayden, Mommy and Wyatt

Playing in the backyard

September 19, 2008

Hayden and Wyatt in their new Castle.

September 24, 2008

My boys are changing everyday. Hayden has so many questions and asks, "why" for everything. It challenges your intellect as a parent. Hayden got a new tricycle from Once Upon A Child for $8.50. It is the best investment I could have EVER spent. Hayden's face lights up when he rides that bike and I can feel my heart lighten a little each time. He got on that bike with frustration, but with determination and by noon, he was a pro. He did it and he was so proud of himself also. Riding a bike requires quite a bit of coordination and strength to get used to using those muscles. Hayden flies by me now with a helmet and all. Hayden LOVES, LOVES, LOVES instruments. He was given an unwanted Guitar Hero guitar from his Uncle Bart, and Hayden brings it everywhere and rocks out. My brother and father even showed him how to make that "guitar face." Hayden is a very passionate child and it shows in a negative way as well as a positive. When he is grown, I hope I will always remember how kind he can be and even empathic and considerate Hayden is at such a young age. I like to think that was all my doing, but he has always been preprogrammed that way.
Wyatt is my sweet, loving, wild child. He keeps me on my toes to say the least. He has been more physically challenging then Hayden has ever been, but I would never classify him as a problem child. He has so many words and actions that shocks me everyday. I brought out a yogurt today during snack for myself and Wyatt indicated that he wanted some. I explained that it was mommy's and he kept pointing at the yogurt and pointing to himself with several grunts to follow. I was amazed how persuasive and persistent he was being without screaming and crying. Wyatt is my side kick and mama's boy when he isn't wrestling his big brother. I swore I was NEVER going to be a wrestling family and my kids do it anyway. Go figure! I love that Wyatt says,"Ma" continuously now to get my attention and tells or shows me things. He's a little pointer. Wyatt just loves to do whatever makes you laugh even if it is climbing up the 5 cement stairs outside or the bay window just so you will come and get him. Wyatt's kisses are breathless. When he is happy or even just saying goodbye, you are getting a kiss. My boys' hugs and kisses are my balance in life, but will make anyone's day. When we are out and about, they say, "hi" to everyone. I think it is cute, of course and polite to be friendly, but I can't believe ho many people are downers and ignore their cute smiling faces.
I feel that I don't talk about my boys enough in a positive way, because I am so stressed out most of the time and getting the venting out really is the only way I can enjoy them later. I appreciate each and everyday that I have on this earth with my boys even including Ronnie. They are my world and I wouldn't be who I am without them and no where near complete.

If They Only Knew....... :)

I found a great ad in one of my parenting magazines for Children's Motrin:

"I would kill to get some sleep right now. No really. Try me. Ok, so I don't really mean that but sometimes I secretly think it. If all us moms said exactly what was on our minds when dealing with our kids' high fevers, you might as well commit us. Actually, that's not a bad idea-at least it would be quiet. Hey, all we really want is for our kids to feel good again. We want to take that fever down. Way down. And then our crazy little kids can go back to being their crazy little selves, drawing on the walls and sticking their hands in the toilet." Use only as directed. Motrin.com

Smart ad, huh? This is how most moms feel and don't say it. We are not bad moms for feeling some selfishness here and there. I feel normal when I hear another mom talk about things like this. It keeps us from going crazy. If you don't have a mom to talk to, find one! It is your only chance. Thoughts are always welcomed on here and my way. My go-tos are AJ and my mom. Thank you. You two have made me a better mom.

I love you

Do you know that about a year ago I read a stat in a parenting magazine that only 88% of parents tell their children that they love them on a daily basis! That is crazy to me! ONLY 88% of parents?!!! I tell my boys that I love them at least 15 times a day each everyday, let alone getting it in one time a day! It sounds like I am judging, but I am! Tell you kids that you love them everyday, it doesn't hurt and it feels good. ha-ha My husband get the same treatment, so go ahead a let him know once a day, too. ( I am trying to be funny ha-ha)

My main objective for this post is to tell you a real quick note. This morning I was making breakfast for my boys, like I always do. :) Hayden likes to say, "Mommy......." I'll say, "What, baby?" Then he'll come back at me with an "I Love You." "I love you, too baby." He likes to go back and forth a few times, so then I did that to Wyatt. "Wyatt.....I love you." Wyatt smiles and for the first time, "Wuv oh." My eyes filled up with tears. I know as a mother that my children love me, but when they say it, I feel it every time.....every time. It made my whole day :)

On a More Personal Note.....

I am sorry I have been impersonal lately with all these articles, but I have been learning so much lately. There are two interesting subjects I will post as soon as I have time.


Hayden has this great and funny (in his mind) habit to run from me every time it is time to change his diaper. Today he slipped and hit his head hard on the hardwood floors. Thank goodness there is some give, because it was a bad and loud one. He was fine, but sad and huggable. He couldn't do much because, "no mommy, bonked me head." My dad was coming over to mail off something for me and I told Hayden that grandpa was coming over. "Grandpa M?" His eyes lit up and he was very happy. Hayden just LOVES his grandfather! He is so lucky to have all very great grandparents, but today Grandpa M was the cure to his downess. They went out to play tennis and mail off my procrastination of a package. It is so special that both boys get special time like that.

AJ and I were talking today, like we always do, and I LOVE-LOVE having both my boys, but they are different when they aren't together. Wyatt and I got enjoy our morning, because he wasn't competing with Hayden for my affection with clinginess and crying. When Hayden and I get time alone he is very mellow and sincere. I want my boys (and any future children), but separate. Does that make sense? Whenever the boys are going to be separate to make things easier, it doesn't really matter which one, because wherever we go they both behave very well when they aren't together. Very Strange!

But then AJ and I agreed that there are moments that my boys will interact and I will just melt. Even though, they would have been driving me nuts all day with the whining, taking of toys and so on, but that one moment of love and compassion is the most comforting feeling. It erases the 100 other insensitive things they may have exchanged previously.

When Hayden got hurt, Wyatt approached with the biggest embrace for his big brother, followed by a kiss and "sa-ry." (sorry).

Ahhhh melt.....

What Happens To Us When We Die?

I found this article very interesting. What are your thoughts?

"A fellow at New York City's Weill Cornell Medical Center, Dr. Sam Parnia is one of the world's leading experts on the scientific study of death. Last week Parnia and his colleagues at the Human Consciousness Project announced their first major undertaking: a 3-year exploration of the biology behind "out-of-body" experiences. The study, known as AWARE (AWAreness during REsuscitation), involves the collaboration of 25 major medical centers through Europe, Canada and the U.S. and will examine some 1,500 survivors of cardiac arrest. TIME spoke with Parnia about the project's origins, its skeptics and the difference between the mind and the brain.

What sort of methods will this project use to try and verify people's claims of "near-death" experience? When your heart stops beating, there is no blood getting to your brain. And so what happens is that within about 10 sec., brain activity ceases - as you would imagine. Yet paradoxically, 10% or 20% of people who are then brought back to life from that period, which may be a few minutes or over an hour, will report having consciousness. So the key thing here is, Are these real, or is it some sort of illusion? So the only way to tell is to have pictures only visible from the ceiling and nowhere else, because they claim they can see everything from the ceiling. So if we then get a series of 200 or 300 people who all were clinically dead, and yet they're able to come back and tell us what we were doing and were able see those pictures, that confirms consciousness really was continuing even though the brain wasn't functioning.
How does this project relate to society's perception of death?

People commonly perceive death as being a moment - you're either dead or you're alive. And that's a social definition we have. But the clinical definition we use is when the heart stops beating, the lungs stop working, and as a consequence the brain itself stops working. When doctors shine a light into someone's pupil, it's to demonstrate that there is no reflex present. The eye reflex is mediated by the brain stem, and that's the area that keeps us alive; if that doesn't work, then that means that the brain itself isn't working. At that point, I'll call a nurse into the room so I can certify that this patient is dead. Fifty years ago, people couldn't survive after that.
How is technology challenging the perception that death is a moment?

Nowadays, we have technology that's improved so that we can bring people back to life. In fact, there are drugs being developed right now - who knows if they'll ever make it to the market - that may actually slow down the process of brain-cell injury and death. Imagine you fast-forward to 10 years down the line; and you've given a patient, whose heart has just stopped, this amazing drug; and actually what it does is, it slows everything down so that the things that would've happened over an hour, now happen over two days. As medicine progresses, we will end up with lots and lots of ethical questions.

But what is happening to the individual at that time? What's really going on? Because there is a lack of blood flow, the cells go into a kind of a frenzy to keep themselves alive. And within about 5 min. or so they start to damage or change. After an hour or so the damage is so great that even if we restart the heart again and pump blood, the person can no longer be viable, because the cells have just been changed too much. And then the cells continue to change so that within a couple of days the body actually decomposes. So it's not a moment; it's a process that actually begins when the heart stops and culminates in the complete loss of the body, the decompositions of all the cells. However, ultimately what matters is, What's going on to a person's mind? What happens to the human mind and consciousness during death? Does that cease immediately as soon as the heart stops? Does it cease activity within the first 2 sec., the first 2 min.? Because we know that cells are continuously changing at that time. Does it stop after 10 min., after half an hour, after an hour? And at this point we don't know.

What was your first interview like with someone who had reported an out-of-body experience?
Eye-opening and very humbling. Because what you see is that, first of all, they are completely genuine people who are not looking for any kind of fame or attention. In many cases they haven't even told anybody else about it because they're afraid of what people will think of them. I have about 500 or so cases of people that I've interviewed since I first started out more than 10 years ago. It's the consistency of the experiences, the reality of what they were describing. I managed to speak to doctors and nurses who had been present who said these patients had told them exactly what had happened, and they couldn't explain it. I actually documented a few of those in my book What Happens When We Die because I wanted people to get both angles - not just the patients' side but also the doctors' side - and see how it feels for the doctors to have a patient come back and tell them what was going on. There was a cardiologist that I spoke with who said he hasn't told anyone else about it because he has no explanation for how this patient could have been able to describe in detail what he had said and done. He was so freaked out by it that he just decided not to think about it anymore.

Why do you think there is such resistance to studies like yours?
Because we're pushing through the boundaries of science, working against assumptions and perceptions that have been fixed. A lot of people hold this idea that, well, when you die, you die; that's it. Death is a moment - you know you're either dead or alive. All these things are not scientifically valid, but they're social perceptions. If you look back at the end of the 19th century, physicists at that time had been working with Newtonian laws of motion, and they really felt they had all the answers to everything that was out there in the universe. When we look at the world around us, Newtonian physics is perfectly sufficient. It explains most things that we deal with. But then it was discovered that actually when you look at motion at really small levels - beyond the level of the atoms - Newton's laws no longer apply. A new physics was needed, hence, we eventually ended up with quantum physics. It caused a lot of controversy - even Einstein himself didn't believe in it.

Now, if you look at the mind, consciousness, and the brain, the assumption that the mind and brain are the same thing is fine for most circumstances, because in 99% of circumstances we can't separate the mind and brain; they work at the exactly the same time. But then there are certain extreme examples, like when the brain shuts down, that we see that this assumption may no longer seem to hold true. So a new science is needed in the same way that we had to have a new quantum physics. The CERN particle accelerator may take us back to our roots. It may take us back to the first moments after the Big Bang, the very beginning. With our study, for the first time, we have the technology and the means to be able to investigate this. To see what happens at the end for us. Does something continue?"

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20080923/hl_time/whathappenswhenwedie

The Re-opening of the 35W Bridge

The new 35W bridge opened this morning at 5am. I can't believe they got it up 14 months after the bridge collapse. Someone on facebook reminded me that this event took place today. She said she was a little hesitant that the bridge was put up so fast. That made me think also, it is safe to build a bridge that fast? If you think about it...Those workers have been working shifts day and night. I believe there was one night in the last 14 or less months there wasn't a night they worked. You can get a lot done when you have workers day and night. Road construction and such takes FOREVER because there are many breaks and not always workers on the site.

I went to my main newspaper source(online) Pioneer Press and found this article about the poetic feeling of the bridge opening. I think it is great to have that mistake fixed and I am sad that those people died (one of whom I indirectly knew), but I am hoping that traffic won't be as crazy around my house, since I live 2 blocks from Highway 280 (the alternate route of 35W). It will feel great to have some "normal" back into play. Things are changing people everyday.

Pedohiles: Protecting Our Children

I know that I have blogged about this before and it makes me sick to my stomach, but VERY impotant! AJ, my devoted Oprah Watcher, told me about Monday's show about child predators! It is sick and it makes me angry. I won't be holding back some of the information I found on Oprah's website. I wish I could just copy the whole thing, since linking to the site may expire in time. But it is very important to understand how really SICK these people are and how stupid it is to try and rehabilitate these people!!!! If you are not up for this subject, then stop reading. If you want to help out and be aware of this epidemic, please continue.

"Pedophiles take these images and trade them like baseball cards," says Christine, an analyst. "The violation that occurs within these files…it's horrific."What they see on a daily basis is so disturbing the center keeps an on-site psychologist to help analysts cope."We're seeing sexual abuse including oral penetration, vaginal, anal penetration," says Michelle, another analyst. "We see children with dog collars on their necks. Kids with plastic bags over their heads. Foreign object insertion with these children."By posing as pedophiles, agents like Claude Davenport have learned how these operations work. "They will get together, discuss activities that they would like to see performed and actually perform it on their own children," he says. "We've had cases where infants have been molested on live feed. When the violators are caught, their reason for using such a young child is because the child can't articulate the violation that they've received."Authorities have even discovered videos and manuals created by pedophiles that give instructions on how to molest and rape children just months old and how to get away with the crime. Some videos even use well-known cartoon characters to desensitize the children to rape.

For the past seven years, Flint Waters, a father of four, has devoted his life to patrolling the Internet to take down child predators as commander of the Wyoming Internet Sex Crimes Against Children Task Force. Four years ago, he and two other men—Bill Wiltse of the Salem, Oregon, police department; and Robert Leazenby of the Wyoming attorney general's office—developed a revolutionary software program that tracks computers trading pornographic images and videos of children. The program runs 24 hours a day, seven days a week and can pinpoint the specific location of offenders' computers. His investigations have led to more than 100 arrests, and more than 30 children have been saved. Although the program is highly effective, Flint says there are simply not enough resources available to law enforcement officials to help put predators away. "We're getting better at finding them, seeing who's out there," he says. "We're just overwhelmed by the numbers." When predators are caught, Flint says he's the one who interviews them. "They'll look you in the eye. They'll describe it. They'll get excited about their interest. They'll talk about how society just hasn't caught up and this is what they should be doing," he says. "I've arrested them, have them get out on bond and on the way home pick up another computer and get back online to find the material. … They don't stop." Danger isn't just lurking with strangers or at the playground—many children are abused by people they know and trust.According to law enforcement research, almost three out of four children who are sexually abused know their offenders—and 35 percent of the time the abuser is the child's own parent. "In some of those cases, somewhere, mom is asleep in that house and has no idea that this guy's doing this," Flint says. "Some of these guys are brilliant at the techniques they go through to hide what they're doing."Studies say that 30 to 40 percent of people who view images of child abuse online are also molesters. "There's a huge number of these guys that when we catch them, they're using it to normalize their behavior, to normalize what they're already doing with the child that's in their care," he says. "So they act out on their granddaughter or their grandson. They go through this guilt cycle. They get the videos. They see that everybody else is doing it, and they continue to act."

Now, Vanessa realizes the importance of making sure a close relationship never masks a dangerous situation. "I think parents sometimes have to move outside of their comfort zone," she says. "If your child comes to you and tells you, 'I'm uncomfortable with the way this person's looking at me or the comments this person's making to me'—no matter how entwined you are with their lives, if they're family or they're friends that you feel as family—you need to remove your child from that situation."Jasmine has a message for kids who feel that something isn't right but don't know what to do. "If you think something is wrong, go find someone. Tell someone," she says. "If they don't believe you, if you have to, tell a police officer, anybody you can trust. Because if you hold it inside, it just kills you. It breaks you down."

If you are enraged, disgusted and fed up with child predators slipping through the cracks, there is something you can do right now. Camille Cooper works with PROTECT, a group working to pass better laws to build protection for children, and says there is an important bill going before the Senate this month.Senate Bill 1738, the PROTECT Our Children Act, will provide valuable funding for child protection task forces. "If you don't put the money behind law enforcement and fund them and have more cops that are dedicated to going after these guys and protecting our children, we won't rescue these children," Camille says.

Click here to find more information on how to contact your senators and urge them to vote yes on Senate Bill 1738.

Camille stresses that it is important to contact your senators immediately and put pressure on the Senate before Congress recesses on September 26. "It passed the U.S. House almost unanimously. We have to get it out of the Senate. We need to go rescue these children.""This is not about politics," Oprah says. "It's about our children. It's a bipartisan bill supported by both Republicans and Democrats. I believe that it really is up to us to tell the Senate not to go home until you pass that bill."


Check out the whole thing, there are a couple stories and details I left out due to the legth of this blog.
http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/20080911_tows_predators/1

Another useful site to see if there are sexual predators in general in your area.
Minnesota Level 3 Sex Offenders

Dear Summer 2008....

It is hard to believe that your time has come and went. Summer is the only balance of our long winter us Minnesotans look forward to. We have had such an amazing Summer 2008. We all got some color on our Minnesota skin and lots of memories that we will take with us forever.

Thank you for Mayson at the beginning of the summer! She is the cutest little niece aka cousin for the the boys that we could ask for. Thanks for our first of many years with our Wyatt! He is the funniest and sweetest little guy we could ever ask for.

We very much enjoyed the weekend trips to Como Zoo. Hayden was finally old enough to ride many of the fun rides and Wyatt got to ride the train. They both really appreciated the animals that we saw and very much enjoyed seeing the butterfly exhibit. Hayden finally got to see his first Sparky the Seal show. The greatest thing we got to do together is ride the carousal.

I really loved being able to celebrate my birthday for a weeks time ha-ha I totally deserved it! I spent a night with my group of best girlfriends, went out to eat with my aunt Sue to our restaurant of choice: Red Lobster, I went on my actual birthday to Como Zoo with all the daycare kids and my dad and then continued the evening to spend with my mom and boys. Ronnie finally could slip away from work the following day to take me to Muffaletta's where we made the mistake, we think now twice, by ordering a pitcher of their yummy sangria. We were drunk by the time Ronnie's soup came.

The Fourth of July is always a great time at my aunt's house and at Lanford Park. Then our first real week long family vacation. We went to my cousin's cabin in Exeland, Wisconsin. I have to say it is more work to take the kids out of their environment for a long period of time, but it ends up being fun. Fun in a NON-relaxing way.

As whole, it is so great to have the Heer family. Besides then being a blast to hang out with they have a pool to cool the kids off and a great BBQ to feed us the good stuff!

The statefair is always a great time. Wyatt got to participate in the little hands farm with his big brother. The boys loved people watching with their nosey parents. There were weddings, Saints and Twins baseball games, BBQs and so much more.

Summer, you are even good for those rainy days when all you need is a day where you can put on a video or have an excuse to stay in one place. When it is nice outside, you just feel plain 'ol guilty staying in the house.

I don't really know where you go every year? I blink and it is fall again. Thank you summer for never letting us down. But there are still quite a few things to look forward to as Autumn approaches.....Thank you for another great summer! We shine a little brighter this year!

Love,
The Ambriz Family

Wyatt's Doctor Visit

I had another interesting day, but this time it was just Wyatt. I woke up and NEEDED a shower, it just had to happen. I was getting up to get Wyatt as he was waking up and Ronnie was getting up with me. Usually, Ronnie sleeps longer, because he doesn't have to leave the house until 8:30am. So, I gave him my face that must have said, "Where are you going?" He informed me that he had to be at work early! GRRRRR! Usually, he watches the boys, while I get a fast shower in. I didn't have a choice, I had to get a shower in. So, I got Wyatt up and brought him in the bathroom with me. I grabbed a couple toys, put the gate up and prayed he would stay distracted enough for me to take a 5 minute shower. Nope. Not going to happen. He starts whaling the minute I step in. He wants to come in, too. In hind sight, I should have stripped him down and brought him in, but it was too late, he woke Hayden up. I can't catch a break. Hayden was fine playing in his room, but Wyatt was mad and he was letting me know. He was so upset and nothing was making him happy, so I put him in his crib to mellow. My list of options were minimal with soap in my hair and my 15 month old that doesn't know the meaning of reason yet. So, I finished my shower within 5 minutes and put a towel on to go and get him. He was mellow and ready to come out. I was relieved. I felt so bad, but I remember having to do that with Hayden because he would get so frustrated at this age.

Hayden's room is right across from the bathroom, so I opened the bathroom door and finished getting ready. Wyatt began to cry and I looked over and he was playing with my BIG yoga/pilates ball like he always does. I told Hayden not to touch the ball because Wyatt was playing with it and that was that.

We all proceeded down stairs and I noticed that Wyatt had a bump on his head. "What is that?" It was above his ear on the hairline about 1/4 of the size of a golf ball. Did he bump his head when he cried? He sure didn't make much of it? I watched it for about an hour and it was hard. I began thinking, "what if it is hard because it is under his skull?"

I called the nurse. She told me to bring him in. I was sick. What if something is wrong? I called my dad and asked him to help me out with the daycare while I took Wyatt. I only had one daycare child that morning. so, that was lucky. I got in and the nurse asked a million questions and then I realized that he was due for his 15 month exam, too. Thankfully, the doctor was able to do it. Since I didn't know exactly what happened and I didn't see it, she suggested an x-ray and I quickly agreed. The radiology department had me leave the room and I was pacing the doorway and I could hear my baby crying while they took the X-ray. I am sick. He must be so scared, but the techs were excellent because he stopped and never cried for the rest of the process. The tech informed me that Wyatt was amused with the Ernie sticker that they let him have. I was relieved that he wasn't freaking out and scared the whole time.

We went back to the doctor side to wait for the results...He was fine. I was so relieved and happy that the swelling would go down in a matter of time. Wyatt is healthy and growing up fast. But I can't wait until this stage is over, because he gets hurt all the time. I have been trying to get pictures done and he keeps getting bug bites, scratches and bumps on his face. Ahhh, what a boy, what a day.....

Is it a full moon?

I have had an interesting kid day. Yeah that is a good way to describe it. First of all, I decided to potty train Hayden since I have a lighter work week. I am CLUELESS about potty training, I'll admit it(but I will quickly be denying it once I have accomplished potty training Hayden ha~ha) Hayden woke up this morning and saw the new Harley Davidson underwear sitting on the counter still that his Grandma H. gave him from the fair. So, I embraced the sudden interest he was showing in potty training. We put on those Harley Davidson eagle underwear and........then he peed through those, so we put on the motorcycle underwear and then he peed through those and then we went through the third pair in that package and continued through a a Gerber brand underwear and 2 Little Einstein underwear. Hayden said alot of sorries today, "sorry eagle....sorry motorcycle..." Having him sitting on the potty is horrible!!!! What am I thinking?! Why do I do this to myself.....he isn't ready, but I keep thinking he is, if I just get it done.
Grandma H. also picked up a cool ride around car which the kids all wanted to fight over all day. All is great getting Hayden and my newest member of my clan, Siri to share, but trying to explain sharing to my 15 month old, Wyatt was impossible. Impossible. Then Julianna, another sweet addition to my DC clan comes from preschool on a bus mid-day, but it was her first day, so everything is slower than usual. She didn't get to my house until an hour after her school let out! I was sooooo worried, so worried. Thank goodness she was ok, just late with dropping off all the other kids and the bus driver was getting to know the route.
My breaking point for the day was after all my DC children left for the day when I was trying to cook dinner and I went to check on the boys because they were being TOO quiet. Wyatt was at the gate with brown all over his face but it was slimy and thick. My first thought was that Hayden pooped and Wyatt got into it. BLAH....gag. Much less disgusting, but still AWESOME(that was in a sarcastic way) to clean up.....Markers everywhere and marker combined with snot. All the markers were out, the caps were off, and the tip of the markers were bitten off. I couldn't believe it. Wyatt loved it of course, and I asked Hayden why he didn't tell me and his response goes,"I don't know, see." He lifts his hands and he has evidence of participating in the marker joyride. To make matters even more interesting Hayden was poopy in his underwear. Unsuccessful potty training day and even more convinced in throwing in the towel, I call my mom to get out of the house and she offers to take the boys because she misses them. I feel guilty, but the temptation is too intense. Within a 1/2 hour I am at my parent's house and then on my way to my cousin Sara's house to "watch" the Vikings and Packers play. It was a nice break and after I was even more recharged. I even found out that I have a couple more fans of my blog. Quit complaining Sara and Jenny ha~ha....I try to get them out as often as ideas pop out. That was my day....how was yours?

It has been a bittersweet week. Another part of Ronnie's family died on September 3. His kind of, I guess step-uncle, Rick. It is very sad to see his cousins so sad, because he was a very important father figure in all their lives. Rick under went heart surgery about a month or so ago and did well and then all of a sudden on Tuesday, he had a stroke that he just couldn't come back from. My thoughts and prayers go out to them. I am sad to see Rick go, because he was a great guy.

The sweet part of this bittersweet is that yesterday was Ronnie and my four year wedding anniversary. I had a CRAZY day at daycare with lots of kids, but thanks goodness we could get away for dinner. We went to our NOW self pronounced restaurant of choice, Muffalettas. I had an excellent swordfish in a cabbage fluff and Ronnie had the duck. We celebrated by bringing a special bottle of wine to share and since none of the deserts were sounding good, we headed to Chianti Grill for desert. Before we headed over there, I finally made it to the jewelers to drop off my wedding rings to be soddered together. I am so excited to get them back! It was nice to play husband and wife and not mommy and daddy for the evening. However, the boys had a blast with Ronnie's parents. It worked out pretty well.

Life....I keep telling myself that there are good things that happens and there are bad things that happen, but if you realize there IS more good than bad, then you are living.

Stupid Protesters!

The Republican National Convention is being held here in good 'ol Saint Paul, Minnesota! I am not going to get all political, just to fore warn you. But I am seriously angry on how the protesters behave. Check it out for yourselves http://www.twincities.com/rnc/ci_10356224?nclick_check=1 The Right to protest and freedom of speech....blah, blah, blah, but these CRAZY people are throwing urine and feces at the police. I understand feeling passionate about something, but respect what others believe in, too. Or even respect a policeman demand for "orderly" protesting. OUT-OF-HAND! As clever Forest Gump would say, "That is all I am going to say about that."

I introduce you all to Coborns Delivers

It's TRUE!!!!!!

Simon Delivers has been bought out by Coborns Company! It was in the paper that customers of Simon Delivers will keep their current accounts and Coborns will reopen in October as www.CobornsDelivers.com. I can't even tell you how happy I am right now! Thank you to my mother-in-law for religiously reading the paper to inform me of such news! You Rock, Minda! For me, finding time to grocery shop, spending time with my kids and even to spend time with my forever working husband is crazy! On top of that, I keep going to Target to grocery shop and it is getting expensive, because you want to wander the other areas. It is great because I can develop a grocery list as the week progresses and click "check-out" and I am done. Life is good, my friends. Life is good.

It drives me bonkers when....

...my one year old, Wyatt, has to do exactly what my two year old wants to do.

...my two year old, Hayden, plays with his food after being told a million times not to.

...my Wyatt sleeps for 40 minutes and thinks that is enough for the day.

...my Hayden throws a temper tantrum because he is "all done night-night" and he hasn't even went to bed.

...Wyatt wants to cry at me the minute I get to sit down.

...Hayden screams when the babies scream or play his "instruments" at a screeching pitch.

...Wyatt throws a tantrum because he can't play with the dirty mop and nasty bucket.

...Hayden hits and he thinks it is another way to say "hi" more than once a day!

...Wyatt wants to get out of the shopping cart by standing on the seat even locked in - those straps don't go tight enough!!!!

...Hayden thinks it is funny to scare the crap out of the cats!

but,

It makes me smile when...

... Hayden give Wyatt kisses because he is upset.

...Wyatt gives Hayden kisses goodnight.

...Hayden sings 'Happy Birthday" just because he can.

...Wyatt sings "Grey, squirrel. Grey Squirrel" just so I will sing the rest to his favorite part that makes him laugh everytime.

...Hayden gives kisses to anyone and everyone just because he is happy.

...Wyatt says "hi" consecutively to everyone with a smile.

...both Hayden and Wyatt give me kisses, they really mean it and when they give me hugs they hold on to me like they never want to let me go.

...Hayden and I have our own way of giving "kisses" with noseys, kisses on the nose and butterfly kisses.

...Wyatt gives me kisses, it consists of a wide open mouth and then a forehead to fore head moment.



It's the little things that make my job worth it...

My husband and I had a great loss in our family. My husband's cousin Niki has died. As pictured: Niki is far left, AJ is in the middle and I am on the right. This picture was taken her last trip to Minnesota in July 2005. Thank you AJ for the picture-I forgot that we took this one! Niki lived in Texas near her parents and sister Natalee(18) and brother Nathan (16). Ronnie's mom and other family members hopped planes and drove the 20 hours down to Texas. We are uncertain of when the memorial actually is, but maybe on Monday or Tuesday. Ronnie's cousin AJ explains the situation and details perfect:

"This will be a gut wrenching weekend for all and I, once again, ask that you keep them (us) in your prayers. The details of Niki's passing, I feel, should be kept mostly private and between family and friends. With this being such a public forum I do not want to risk exploiting anyone.What I can tell you is that Niki's death was most unexpected and a devastating shock to my entire family. My little cousin Nathan did try and save his older sister. My uncle did not want to leave her side and needed assistance doing so. Such tragedy is enough to take the breath straight from your body. I feel like I have so much I want to say, but at the same time, cannot piece together any words. ... Thank you all for being my listening ear and support.We are broken and sad, but your kind words lift our spirits."

I only got the pleasure of meeting Niki once. She was a sweet and heart warming person. When she walked into a room it lit up and she would make anyone feel welcomed to talk with her. It is so hard to accept such a young soul to die, but she will live forever in our hearts. It is amazing someone so young could touch so many people.

We are praying for her family down in Texas who's pain is intense, even more so than ours. Please pray to keep her family strong through this painful and very difficult time. We will miss you Niki and we are sorry to see you go...

Ronnie's Home

I am so happy! Ronnie came home last night from being at training for two weeks. The boys and I were finishing up a late dinner when we heard the door open. Hayden runs with a "daddy, daddy!!!" Wyatt was in the high chair getting cleaned up when he hands me his plate and milk with a "da, da, da!" I wasn't expecting Wyatt to indulge in the excitement too. I forget that he isn't a baby and is getting big. Hayden and Wyatt will always be my babies.
Ronnie skipped dinner and we went to get ice cream and a movie for Ronnie and I for later. We ate our ice cream at home and the boys were a mess. Wyatt ate up his cone within 5-7 minutes, I swear. Hayden was lovin' his ice cream also.
Afterwards, we put on some Kaye West and had a dance fest! Wyatt is a little dancer! He waves his hands in the air and another move he puts his hands behind him as he leans forward - he looks like a skier without poles. I couldn't stop laughing. Both my camera and camcorder were dead, bummer but I am certain I couldn't forget.
After Ronnie and I tag teamed putting the boys to bed, we watched the last episode in the first season of "LOST." Yes, don't make fun of us, we are only about to start the second season. We'll catch up! All you LOST fans out there - keep your mouth shut! lol What a perfect evening. I am always missing my Ronnie when he is gone, but the reunion is always memorable for me and my boys.

My Beautiful Weekend

June 19, 2008

I had a very eventful Saturday. I attended a baptism for Michal, daughter of a great couple (Rachel & Dylan). Ronnie is out at South Carolina for training, so I brought my mom with to lighten my load and then I could enjoy my self a little more. The baptism was so personal. There were bag pipes, an african american gospel singer (excellent voice!), and Rachel's uncle "John the Baptist" an Indian man with a sweet heart. During the "ceremony," the parents and godparents took their shoes off and rolled their pants to proceed into the water. Hayden unstrapped his sandles and went in also. It was actually cute, but he was also off to the side, so he didn't interupt. It was awesome. Then we all gathered at their house after for great food and company. I will be doing that with the next child. I would love to make it more about celebrating and welcomining my child into the world of God rather than going to a church service and having a 5 minute honor. It just never occured to me to do something, so unique.

The boys were off to my parents' house. Which is always bittersweet. Then I headed to my friend, Tina's house for the Annual Post 4th of July Party. It was so fun, and just when I could put my feet up, AJ called with news of her labor proceeding. I was so excited. AJ had wanted me to come and videotape the birth and just make me a part of her family's experience. What an honor! But the call was just a warning call, but think she knew she was going to have the baby. As of the 8:45pm call, AJ had contractions for four hours. I was thinking that there had to be no way those would stop. I didn't get a call after that, but I did go home in case the baby did come anyway.

June 20, 2008,

So, I left Roberts, WI at 12:30am and got home about 1am or so. I called Ronnie to say good night and turned on TV to start going to sleep. Just as my eyes began to close, my cell phone rings. It is Bill! They both were at the hospital and the baby was coming fast! Oh crap! I got to Unity Hospital in Fridley in about 15 minutes! I made time, I think! I checked in with the security guard and went up to the nurse's station. They told me to wait in the waiting room because AJ was getting her epidural. 5 minutes goes by....10 minutes go by.....17 minutes go by...no one came. I got up to let them know that AJ wanted me there to videotape and to make sure she still wanted me there. She did! When I get into the room, AJ was already pushing. My mind was going a million miles a minute. I grabbed the camera from poor Bill and motioned to him to focus on AJ. I apologized to AJ and told her I was in the waiting room. AJ and Bill make such a great birthing team. They are just such a great couple and can feed off each other. I was blessed to see such a personal experience of them. AJ was in such great spirits and her excitement was overwhelming. She was great! She kept pushing, pushing, pushing and it wasn't progressing as much as AJ expected. She was getting exhausted and I just wanted to pat the top of her head and let her know it was ok. The nurse noticed that AJ held alot of tension in her legs and mention to grab those legs and focus on using only her vaginal muscles (can I say that word on here? ha-ha) The baby girl was out with two pushes! Amazing! AJ is so appreciative of her babies. She was going on about how happy her little one was here. The little girl cried, but seized when she heard AJ's voice. I wanted to cry. Everything was beautiful! Bill also could talk to the baby and she could recognize his voice. I could just feel the energy in the room. AJ turned to Bill after a nurse asked what her name was going to be. Bill answered AJ with, "Jacklyn." AJ looked at their baby and disagreed. They decided on

Laila Beth Heer

born July 20, 2008

at 2:28 am

7 lbs. 1 oz.

20 inches

Congratulations to the Heer family for their perfect bundle of joy! Thank you for making me a part of this great experience. I will never forget the day that Laila Beth came in this world. I will go to may parents' house to add pictures of her. But Laila looks like her older sister Delaney, but has her even bigger sister Cecelia's big beautiful eyes.

What?!!!! NO MORE Simon Delivers!!!!

Yes...it is true Simon Delivers is going out of business!!!! URGH! In case you are unaware of the miracle of Simon Delivers, it was a grocery store and etc. that delivered for a small fee. I sure would pay more, if it kept them in business. My whole balance of life is gone! I sound super dramatic right now, but it was a heaven sent for me. It was soooooo nice to do my bulk of grocery shopping with them, so I wouldn't have to lug around two little ones or make arrangements to go it alone. It gave me more time to have fun and not feel like I shop all the time, especially with the daycare. I wish there was something I could do to change their minds. If you are looking for a business opportunity....start a grocery delivery business! Mmmmmm.........

Yael Naim

I am always looking for ways to learn and grow. The song that I have on my profile is so beautiful. I fell in love with Yael Naim's voice and the music, but I didn't know what it meant. So, with my 7 years of French and a little help from the internet, I realize the song has great lyrics also. It shows that no matter how far you try to get away, you can't escape what is in your heart. Beautiful Song! Yael Naim has some English songs also if you are interested. Here is the English Translation of the song:

Paris by Yael Naim

I fled to a different place
So quickly
The farthest away and I succeeded
I am in Paris
Lit candles
Gray and foggy
I am happy and it's good for me
And it's so good for me
In Paris

I wander around ...
In enchanting narrow alleys
I am spellbound
It sucks me in
I am
In Paris
Beautiful buildings
They are old
And so very noble
But the country lights me up
In Paris

Mmm...
Fair from my house in Paris

I came here
A bit disenchanted
This beautiful illusion of mine
A trial to catch up with myself in Paris
Again I disappear
A sad dream
I am famous already
And they hear me here
In Paris

Now your voice
It whispers to me from far away
I miss you
Come return to me
Already from Paris
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
And...Paris.

Mmm...
Far from my love in Paris

The country is so good to me here
So why do I cry and get upset?

Yes, I am happy
So why do I cry at night

I miss you...from Paris
Mmm...

The sun wakes me up
From the window
And I feel the warmth a little more already
Mmm...
The plane lands
And there aren't any
Lush and trickling clouds
I'm back again
Shalom Paris

What Clare Means.....

Clare
You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

Dear Benson....

Dear Bryan,
Hey there friend! It has been three years now. Three years?! It is funny...we have known each other since junior high and I never would have though how much you have or will impact my life. It makes me laugh that you "allowed me" to be your friend, since I was Sara's cousin. You really let me in when the love of my life was deployed to Iraq and you helped me. You told me how much Ronnie loved and thought about me because that is how you felt about being away from your wife when your were deployed. You stayed together for two tours to Iraq and Afghanistan. You really cared and I needed that. Since then, you were a great friend and I will never forget your friendship.
I am sad. I am sad that you are not here to be goofy and make everyone laugh. I am sad that you can't be here to give it to me straight. I miss you and Ronnie showing off your ugly BC (birth control) glasses. I am sad that you can't be there to see mine and Ronnie's boys grow up or even your own children that you didn't have. I am sad that whenever someone mentions your name that a million emotions run through my mind....sadness, guilt, confusion, anger, disappointment, and even sometimes happiness, joy and laughter of times when we were all together. I wish that I knew. I wish anyone knew how much pain you were in. I wish I would have asked one question, "Is everything ok?" Maybe it would have helped....maybe it wouldn't have.
Today we had a Texas Hold'em poker tournament in your honor. You always were great at that game and loved playing with all the people in your life. My -hopefully- sister in law, Tina took 3rd place, Bryan Shattuck took 2nd place, and (I think) your cousin's wife, Sara took 1st. It was great, really great, to talk to friends and your family about you. It is all we have. We all lean on each other to better understand the terrible tragedy of not having you around. Next week, your wife Maria and her team, are in a bike race to raise money for S.A.V.E. (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education). I am so proud of her and how strong she is. I admire her so much and love that she has the strength to accomplish such an event.
Everyday, I wish you wouldn't have made such an extreme and permanent decision. I do know that you are now pain free and in a world where life is simple and happy. It will be a long time until our paths will meet again, but I am sure I will NEVER forget you. I hope that Ronnie and I will make you proud. Even, in some way, I hope you can live through us and the people who love you, because your life just wasn't long enough. Not nearly long enough.
Thank you for being such a great friend and you are missed and always will be missed. Especially, when we experience anything you would have loved.


Sincerely,
Clare

***Please click on the above S.A.V.E. to read more information on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and to donate money to raise awareness. Thank You.

Houston, We have take off!

Here you go!!!! I am at my parents house-who has fast internet-and I am able to get a photo up! Whoooo Hooooo! Here, now you know we exist ha-ha

This picture is from our family trip to my cousin's lake home this past week (refer to previous posting)

I hope everyone had as much fun as we did during this holiday.

Our Fourth of July Vacation

We had a wonderful 4th of July holiday. Ronnie and I decided that Independence Day is a favorite. It is the one holiday you get to be outside and relax. The morning of 4Th of July, we went to North Saint Anthony Park to watch the parade and then walk it over to the park after for a picnic. After, we went to my aunt Kathy and Cindy's house. It is always a great time. My cousin's kids were there, so that was fun that Hayden had someone to run around with. We had such a wonderful day.
Saturday we headed to my Cousin's lake home in Exeland, WI. It is a beautiful home. It is in a very secluded area, which makes it very peaceful and it is on the lake, which is beautiful. I have to be honest, it is crazy bringing two young kids to a strange place with "nothing" to do. The boys don't sleep in as well and they have to be watched, so they don't get into anything. They don't have a beach at the lake, so that made it hard, but they had a beautiful deck that we could put a kiddy pool on. That was fun for the boys. We also managed to find a beach nearby, so that was exciting to see the boys run around in the water. It was the first time Wyatt was in a lake. Wyatt enjoyed it very much. We also found a cute zoo type park for the kids. It was amazing. There were several kinds of animals there to look at and then there were deer, peacocks and baby goats wondering the park. It was a great thing for our family to do together. It is so nice when we can do activities as a family, because with Ronnie's work schedule, it doesn't happen as often as we'd like. We came home Wednesday afternoon and enjoyed a perfect evening. We cooked dinner and then headed to Dairy Queen. A personal family tradition of mine. Then we grabbed a movie at blockbuster. It is so great to be home and even though the vacation wasn't completely relaxing, it sure made me appreciate coming home.

What if Ronnie and I Never met in High School?

I had this strange dream last night that really made me think. Not many people know that I am a very spiritual person. I only really show that side of me to my aunt Sue D. I guess I believe there is a purpose for everything and we are being lead where ever we go. With that being said, my dream goes as follows:
I was working with orphan children and trying to find good homes for them. Then a higher up boss put a hold on funding or something along the lines. I went to go meet with him to discuss the matter and it was Ronnie in his uniform. I went in there determined and angry with this guy, but it turned out that he became attractive to me. It was as if we both were just drawn to each other and there was this prediction in both of us like we knew one another, I mean really knew one another, from pass lives. There were more details to the dream that seem foggy at this point, but you get the idea.
I woke up and it made me think, 'Would Ronnie and I still have found each other, if we didn't realize one another in high school?' I mean we went through Junior high not noticing each other? I am not questioning if I should have married my husband at all, without a doubt we are meant to be. I just ponder the idea if our paths would have crossed regardless? How would it happen? How different would my life have been? Would I be a different person now? I know this is very cosmic and philosophical, but it was interesting to me how people do come in and even out of your life for a reason. It seems that everybody you meet shapes who we are and what we believe to some level. We get to use our own personalities and judgements to just filter out what works for us and what doesn't.
This is a little heavy for a Thursday morning, but everyone knows that I am not really much for small talk.

My Special Day Every Year

I like to celebrate my birthday for a prolonged period of time each year. The official first celebration was Friday night when my girlfriends took me out for sushi. I love the three out of us seven who didn't either like or have even ever tried sushi before. I think that they were surprise that it wasn't so bad. I had a great time spending girly adult time. Afterwards, I went out dancing with some old co-workers. Don't get the wrong impression of me, I am NOT a big partier. Lately, I have wanted to get out and dance. It just feels good to be out and feel free to be out. Is that bad? Especially, since I have had my boys back to back and Wyatt is pass that one year mark where things get easier-somewhat :)

Then last night, I wouldn't call it a birthday celebration, but just me, Hayden and Wyatt went to Como Lake. We made a lap around and we could hear music coming from the pavilion. Us three sat and listened to three songs (remember, my boys are 1 and 2 1/2). They both love it! Wyatt was dancing, both were waving, "Hi" to everyone and clapping when the songs were done-even when they thought the songs were done. They were so happy. It feels so great to have moments like that. I am certain to never forget how I felt to see my boys just be.... So that was a great unexpected present.

Today, I only had one daycare child, so we all took our first field trip as a daycare (with the help of my dad) to Como Park Zoo. It was BUSY!! I am thinking, "don't you people work?" I thought it was going to be dead and we could just relax and stroll. It was fun, but more busy then I assumed. I went on rides with Hayden. First, we went on the train (of course-he LOVES trains!!!) He is so good. He wanted to ride in the caboose. Then we went on the swings. His face was priceless! He could NOT stop smiling and he was describing everything to me (non-understandable of course). It was so cute it made me laugh. Grandpa took Hayden on a couple more rides and we called it an afternoon. If you live in the area or if you make a trip here, you have to come and visit the LAST free zoo in the nation, maybe the world.

Tonight, I went out for dinner with my brother, his girlfriend-Tina, Madyson (their first outing), my boys, my mom, and Aunts Kathy and Cindy. I had a great time. I got my favorite salad and drink. (I am excited though, for seafood tomorrow with my other aunt Sue D!)

I am so lucky to have so many special people in my life. It makes special celebrations or just any ol' day brighter. I love surrounding myself with friends and family, it is who I am and I know who I am when I am around them. Smile:)

Madyson Lee Masson

Madyson Lee Masson was born today! I am an auntie! Mady was born at 9:47 am at Abbott Northwestern in Minneapolis and she was 9 pounds and 0.6 ounces with a height of 21 inches. The C-section went very smooth! When Mady was out and Tina was getting stitched up, Bart brought Madyson in the waiting room to meet us. I felt like he would be out soon, so I grabbed my camera out of my purse and immediately I spotted my brother walking down the hall. I was hit with emotion to see my brother in tears as he held his daughter in his arms. First thing, I noticed about her is that she had cute little cheeks already! She has dark hair. I can't wait to see her in a couple days when she will change again. I love my brother, because he is such a marshmallow. He was born to be a father and even more so to have a "daddy's girl." Tina is doing well, she feels great and when we left this afternoon, she was patiently waiting to eat. My mom informed me that this afternoon they noticed that Madyson wasn't breathing and was turning red. The nurse was called in to remove more fluid out of her lungs. Since Madyson was a C-section baby, they tend to have water in their lungs. Usually, that water is squeezed out when a baby comes out of their mother during a vaginal birth. A little background knowledge :) I didn't have that problem with my two boys who had I had c-sections with, but I am so thankful that she is ok. That is every parent's nightmare, especially when you are a new parent! Yikes! Anyway. I am so happy for my brother and Tina. Congratulations on your new family! Love you!

PS yeah still not able to get pictures up on this site, any recommendations?!